Tuesday, January 26, 2010

FCAT Fantasies

I put in my notice last week Monday that I will be leaving my position as reading teacher March 18. My bosses were sad, which is good, because you'd hate for the person who employs you to shout, "hip, hip, hooray" and be thrilled to replace you.

I haven't told my students yet, and I'm not sure if not telling them is going to hurt or help them. I fantasized about telling them that the only reason I'm sticking around in West Palm Beach is to make sure they pass FCAT, and then they developed some kind of rallying cry like "Let's pass this for Ms. Jayme who believes in us!"

In my mind there is this movie montage of them practicing FCAT test after FCAT test. It resembles that scene in Legally Blonde where she gives up rush week in order to practice for the LSAT, only in my fantasy they are giving up having unprotected sex, illicit drug use, and wasting time with their parasitic boyfriends in order to once and for all leave the academic black hole that is intensive reading class.

At the end of the test they all rush the reading room, throw me in the air, and carry me out of the school to my car. They cheer and wipe grateful tears from their eyes as I drive off into the sunset to go to my final dress fitting (which on an unrelated note will look fabulous on me because I've dropped twenty pounds through all my FCAT teaching efforts!).

Yeah right.

My self-absorbed self is hesitant to tell them I'm leaving beacuse I don't want any of them to shut down and stop working. Granted, most won't give a damn if I stay or if I go. A few might be upset. These girls have such little stability in their lives that I hate to add to their chaos in any way. I hope the classroom environment I have given them is a safe, creative space. I hope they realize how much I love them and want them to succeed.

Danny is moving to Houston and our gorgeous new apartment this week. I won't be able to move out there until after the wedding (a mere 67 days away...not that I'm counting or anything). I'm so excited about starting a new life there in our sunshiny little unit, but I'm dreading job hunting in Houston. I want a really flexible tutoring or interventionist position where I have control over my hours and I don't feel like a prisoner in my classroom. It would be nice to be able to go to the post office before it closes or go out to lunch.

Last night, Danny and I finished stuffing, sealing, and addressing our wedding invitations. If everyone we invited shows up, we will have 213 people squeezed into a facility that holds 150 people. Can you say fire hazard?

Only 75% of people will probably attend, but what if everyone decides a nice Florida vacation is just what they need this spring and our silly little wedding is the perfect excuse to make the trip.

We made all of the invitations ourselves, so some of them are kind of wonky. We especially had fun using the wax seals. I think I might place wax selas on anything I put in the mail from now on. I'd like to believe the people at Comcast and Visa would appreciate the added grandeur a red seal adds to my monthly payments.

When I'm not fantasizing about my students passing the FCAT, my impending nuptials, or how I will arrange pillows on the daybed to make it better resemble a really tall couch, I'm reading Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I bought the sequel for my mother-in-law this week, and then decided I should check out what all the hype is about.

Before that I read Push by Sapphire which I've enjoyed loaning out to my students and I read a collection of short stories by Richard Matheson that included I Am Legend. Both have inspired films that I adored... and now that I think of it, Eat, Pray, Love is being made into a movie too.

My girls are always surprised when I tell them that most of the movies they loved were based on books that were even better.

I'm really going to miss my girls.


Starr said...

I feel trapped at work, too. The VA and OHSU are perched on top of a hill with only two ways off and basically no parking. I get a half hour lunch and if I tried to leave, it would take me approximately ten minutes for me to walk to my car, three minutes to drive off campus, two minutes down the hill (if there is no traffic), and then I'd have to turn back around. :(

Jayme said...

GAH. That sounds frustrating too. Thanks for commenting!